Cedratjab is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unthinking bear.

Cedratjab created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cedratjab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cedratjab, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cedratjab's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Cedratjab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green geese, for they are unholy.

2. Hide from magenta manatees for they are unholy.

3. Cedratjab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not take Cedratjab's name in vain.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.