Cudnatquim is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-assured bird.

Cudnatquim created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudnatquim, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cudnatquim, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cudnatquim's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cudnatquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Worship no other gods but Cudnatquim.