Absat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witless slug.

Absat created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Absat, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Absat, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Absat's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Absat's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four sheep approach from the west.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Always obey Absat's priests.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Never look at asteroids.