Hentaildit is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, temperamental mongoose.

Hentaildit created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Hentaildit, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hentaildit, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hentaildit's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Hentaildit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

2. Hentaildit loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not hurt monkeys.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about fire.