Tikpit is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, proud grasshopper.

Tikpit created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Tikpit, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tikpit, it will turn you into a rat.

Tikpit's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tikpit's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tikpit first in all things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Erect three silver sculptures of Tikpit on top of important buildings.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tikpit.