Kabyarlmab is a god.

It takes the form of a small, bad-tempered scorpion.

Kabyarlmab created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabyarlmab, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kabyarlmab, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kabyarlmab's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Kabyarlmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.