Vabpibwit is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous centipede.

Vabpibwit created the Black Eye Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabpibwit, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vabpibwit, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vabpibwit's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Vabpibwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mites.

2. Do not kill pigs.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Vabpibwit loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.