Homwotbut is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, stupid aardvark.

Homwotbut created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homwotbut, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Homwotbut, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Homwotbut's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Homwotbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mites.

2. Never mention sheep.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not take Homwotbut's name in vain.

5. Never write about black holes.