Carmadvag is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, conceited weasel.

Carmadvag created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carmadvag, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Carmadvag, she will turn you into a puffin.

Carmadvag's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Carmadvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snakes.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Run away if nine bats approach from the west.