Jinkinqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic crow.

Jinkinqueeg created an electron seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinkinqueeg, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jinkinqueeg, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jinkinqueeg's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Jinkinqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always treat birds with great respect.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.