Yarprutnur is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humane gorilla.

Yarprutnur created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Yarprutnur, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarprutnur, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Yarprutnur's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Yarprutnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.