Sugjiprul is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent seal.

Sugjiprul created the Milkyway three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sugjiprul, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sugjiprul, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sugjiprul's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Sugjiprul's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight great tits approach from the north.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Do not wear indigo clothing.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.