Hotnurtdissandudnuttkik is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, self-confident elephant.

Hotnurtdissandudnuttkik created the Virgo Supercluster five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotnurtdissandudnuttkik, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hotnurtdissandudnuttkik, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hotnurtdissandudnuttkik's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Hotnurtdissandudnuttkik's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about doves.

3. Hotnurtdissandudnuttkik loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about gravity.