Lanfutquill is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, selfish spider.

Lanfutquill created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Lanfutquill, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lanfutquill, it will not invite you to parties.

Lanfutquill's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Lanfutquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always obey Lanfutquill's priests.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.