Bidcutcan is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, staggering jaguar.

Bidcutcan created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bidcutcan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bidcutcan, it will be mildly annoyed.

Bidcutcan's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Bidcutcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Bidcutcan loves shrews, so they must be honoured.