Logbambonk is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, kind alligator.

Logbambonk created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Logbambonk, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Logbambonk, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Logbambonk's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Logbambonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always treat snails with great respect.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help aardvarks in need.