Cetvogfon is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, weak lion.

Cetvogfon created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetvogfon, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cetvogfon, he will laugh at you.

Cetvogfon's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cetvogfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Erect three nickel sculptures of Cetvogfon on top of important buildings.

4. Hide from magenta badgers for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.