Vagbestzak is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, humane monkey.

Vagbestzak created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagbestzak, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vagbestzak, it will boil you in a big pot.

Vagbestzak's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Vagbestzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not hurt great tits.

3. Never sing near seals.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never think ill of sick badgers.