Wipbagbess is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, selfish finch.

Wipbagbess created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipbagbess, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wipbagbess, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Wipbagbess' most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Wipbagbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Put Wipbagbess first in all things.

5. Never paint your feet brown.