Standaphig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, strong bird.

Standaphig created everything that exists seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Standaphig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Standaphig, it will turn you into a hamster.

Standaphig's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Standaphig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray ducks for they are unholy.

2. Always treat moths with great respect.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Standaphig loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.