Fedlarnmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, humorless hare.

Fedlarnmeg created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedlarnmeg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fedlarnmeg, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fedlarnmeg's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fedlarnmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. You must pray to Fedlarnmeg nine times a day.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always treat otters with great respect.

5. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.