Guttinnurlweg is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, stupid shrew.

Guttinnurlweg created the Sol system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Guttinnurlweg, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Guttinnurlweg, it will turn you into a hamster.

Guttinnurlweg's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Guttinnurlweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Guttinnurlweg's name in vain.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.