Jaddagpark is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonest snake.

Jaddagpark created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jaddagpark, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jaddagpark, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jaddagpark's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Jaddagpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Do not wear green clothing.