Vagcapfum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, boastful seal.

Vagcapfum created the Virgo Supercluster six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagcapfum, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vagcapfum, he will turn you into a sheep.

Vagcapfum's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Vagcapfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ducks.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always treat whales with great respect.

4. Vagcapfum must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.