Bastparkbim Larpsugcid is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, awesome hydra.

Bastparkbim Larpsugcid created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastparkbim Larpsugcid, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bastparkbim Larpsugcid, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Bastparkbim Larpsugcid's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bastparkbim Larpsugcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.