Lapdiss is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, wise hummingbird.

Lapdiss created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapdiss, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lapdiss, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lapdiss' most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Lapdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Lapdiss on top of all buildings.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help sick horses.