Dotnakpad is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unthinking coyote.

Dotnakpad created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Dotnakpad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dotnakpad, he will try to impress you with trees.

Dotnakpad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dotnakpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Retreat if six bats approach from the north.

3. Do not speak about spinach.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. You must pray to Dotnakpad four times a day.