Geparnpark is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, two-faced capybara.

Geparnpark created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Geparnpark, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Geparnpark, he will turn you into a duck.

Geparnpark's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Geparnpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never paint your neck mauve.

4. Geparnpark must be the most important thing in your life.

5. You must pray to Geparnpark nine times a day.