Sugafqueegpibkimbutsom is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, witless coyote.

Sugafqueegpibkimbutsom created silver nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sugafqueegpibkimbutsom, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sugafqueegpibkimbutsom, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Sugafqueegpibkimbutsom's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Sugafqueegpibkimbutsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Sugafqueegpibkimbutsom on top of all buildings.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.