Lagpopfot is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonest capybara.

Lagpopfot created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagpopfot, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lagpopfot, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lagpopfot's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Lagpopfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to horses while wearing brown shoes.

2. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Erect six zinc sculptures of Lagpopfot on top of important buildings.

5. Never jump near goats.