Latjatlip is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish shrew.

Latjatlip created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Latjatlip, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Latjatlip, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Latjatlip's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Latjatlip's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Latjatlip.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never skip near turtles.