Zenlenlik is a god.

She takes the form of a large, benevolent bear.

Zenlenlik created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenlenlik, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zenlenlik, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zenlenlik's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zenlenlik's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never paint your chest white.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.