Sugkapbast is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unsympathetic salamander.

Sugkapbast created the Milkyway nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sugkapbast, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sugkapbast, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sugkapbast's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Sugkapbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dogs.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

5. Do not commit murder.