Ciprutcenhog is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, almighty weasel.

Ciprutcenhog created Asia nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ciprutcenhog, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ciprutcenhog, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Ciprutcenhog's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Ciprutcenhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Ciprutcenhog on top of important buildings.

4. You must never eat nuts.

5. Always stare at clouds.