Litgamvag is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, slow hyena.

Litgamvag created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Litgamvag, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Litgamvag, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Litgamvag's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Litgamvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Hide if four porpoises approach from the north.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never paint your hands violet.