Latwadvol is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, conceited spider.

Latwadvol created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latwadvol, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Latwadvol, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Latwadvol's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Latwadvol's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo swans for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not hurt ducks.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about planets.