Mabsagkem is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, moody tortoise.

Mabsagkem created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabsagkem, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mabsagkem, she will turn you into a puffin.

Mabsagkem's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Mabsagkem's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Erect three nickel sculptures of Mabsagkem on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. You must love Mabsagkem.