Padmotton is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, loving centaur.

Padmotton created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Padmotton, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Padmotton, she will be very unhappy.

Padmotton's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Padmotton's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not kill bats.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Do not eat carrots.