Midnakfum is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, blissful fly.

Midnakfum created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midnakfum, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Midnakfum, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Midnakfum's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Midnakfum's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown goats, for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not take Midnakfum's name in vain.

5. Never wear cyan tights.