Yogkimtif is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish fish.

Yogkimtif created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogkimtif, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yogkimtif, it will be mildly annoyed.

Yogkimtif's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Yogkimtif's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven dolphins approach from the east.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.