Cumfutart is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, omniscient armadillo.

Cumfutart created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumfutart, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cumfutart, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Cumfutart's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Cumfutart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Cumfutart on top of all buildings.

4. Never mention manatees.

5. Never eat green fruit.