Badomtnig is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, stupid gorilla.

Badomtnig created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badomtnig, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Badomtnig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Badomtnig's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Badomtnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Feed all hungry manatees.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always help badgers in need.