Riptambum is a god.

She takes the form of a large, two-faced turtle.

Riptambum created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Riptambum, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Riptambum, she will send you a sign.

Riptambum's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Riptambum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three squirrels approach from the south.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Geese are not to be trusted.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.