Rotvanyart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, fussy eagle.

Rotvanyart created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotvanyart, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rotvanyart, she will turn you into a goat.

Rotvanyart's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Rotvanyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Never feed melons to swans while wearing purple shirts.

3. Never hurt pigs.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Rotvanyart must be the most important thing in your life.