Hogdamsog is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, annoying spider.

Hogdamsog created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogdamsog, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hogdamsog, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hogdamsog's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Hogdamsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Always help ants.

3. Put Hogdamsog first in all things.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.