Pogtitpag is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, omnipotent wren.

Pogtitpag created parasitic wasps four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogtitpag, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pogtitpag, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Pogtitpag's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Pogtitpag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Pogtitpag.

2. Hide if seven seals approach from the east.

3. Always help grasshopers.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Do not stand on grass.