Tafquatfom is a god.

She takes the form of a small, benevolent squirrel.

Tafquatfom created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafquatfom, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tafquatfom, she will laugh at you.

Tafquatfom's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tafquatfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Tafquatfom loves moths, so they must be honoured.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tafquatfom.

5. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.