Babsanpom is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, ill-tempered squid.

Babsanpom created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Babsanpom, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Babsanpom, it will turn you into a dog.

Babsanpom's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Babsanpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Do not hurt dogs.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.