Yarpbatkik is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awesome wyrm.

Yarpbatkik created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbatkik, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yarpbatkik, she will torture you forever.

Yarpbatkik's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Yarpbatkik's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry tortoises.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Hide if three capybaras approach from the east.

5. Always help sick ducks.