Mutpangab is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unjust jaguar.

Mutpangab created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutpangab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mutpangab, she will remove you from existence.

Mutpangab's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Mutpangab's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Put Mutpangab first in all things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Mutpangab must be the most important thing in your life.